"Sorry,” he says, sheepish smile crawling across his face. He warms in the light of Alex, but even that is not enough to beat back the shadows of dread licking across his skin.

He knows that Alex has differing opinions on PDA than he does. He knows. But this is a lot of weight to carry, and he can’t decide what’s more painful: carrying it himself or handing it over.

He drops the bag of ice cream sandwiches, kicks the door shut behind him, and wraps his arms around Alex, burying into his chest. He isn’t crying, not yet, but everything is just too heavy right now.

Alexei Ivanov

He doesn’t cry. He does quake, a little, shoulders shifting like tectonic plates. His stomach grinds.

"Yeah.”

He shifts a little to the side to breath, catching sight of--

"Your noodles!”

--boiling over on the stove.

Alexei Ivanov

What to say.

How was he going to say this?

Something to deaden the blow, perhaps. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

"I got promoted.”

He just sort of, floats. In Alex’s living room. Hovering. Noncommittal. Like if he waits long enough he’ll float away and nothing will matter anymore.

Alexei Ivanov

Inhale. Exhale.

“You know… the plan.”

Inhale. Exhale.

“For the Meteor?”

If you close your eyes and hope hard enough maybe you can be anywhere else. Anywhere else.

“We had the Ranger meeting about it yesterday.”

If he closed his eyes and thought hard enough maybe he could be anywhere else. A different universe. A different Hoenn. One where he didn’t have to say this. One where he wasn’t choosing between the fate of all the worlds and this one. One where the survival of both things could be possible.

Alexei Ivanov

Ugh, Alex was already frowning about it.

And, honestly, maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad. Maybe it was going to be okay. Maybe he just wanted to err on the side of caution and that made him see things as worse than they would be. Maybe being in love with Alex was making him batshit crazy. A little of everything, really.

“Part of the plan to warp the meteor to the water Hoenn involves the installation of Primal Points,” he said, and his voice wasn’t just flat, it was empty. Just-- devoid of emotion, like a GPS, reading directions, “there are five of them, in total: the desert, Granite Cave, Petalburg Woods, Mt. Pyre, and… and Fortree.”

His voice breaks a little. He runs a hand over his hair.

“It’s not supposed to do anything more major than stir up the Pokemon,” he adds, as though this can make things better, “but… I’m still scared.”

There. That was the truth.

He was scared.

Alexei Ivanov

He swallows the mouthful of thorns that have sprouted from his tongue. “Fortree. It’s going to be in Fortree.” He doesn’t know why they chose Fortree, other than it’s, apparently, tactical. And his suggestion that there was additional context for the selection did not go over well at the Ranger’s conclave.

“That’s about it,” he says, a rather desperate sounding laugh escaping from him. His mind whirls, thinking back to the chaos of the meeting. “There was a lot of arguing. I tried to get us additional resources and everyone basically told me to calm down.” He couldn’t suppress the roll of his eyes. “Then there was pie throwing. The Slateport crew tried to bounce early. We’re all a bit of a mess, to be honest.”

Another delirious giggle escaped him and he clapped his hands over his face to try and keep them in.

“Fuck me.”

Alexei Ivanov